I am ANTI-These things...

The following items I am about to list are things that I am against, hence the prefix (I think that's the word) "Anti". Feel free to comment on why I should not be against these things. You are entitled to your opinion even though you are wrong.

1) I am ANTI-HAM. For some reason I recieve Rolling Stone Magazine. Even though I never suscribed to it. There is an article about how all of the retarded pigs are left to rot in a pile of there own filth and they all have diarreah. Gross. They are then thrown into the rivers and there shit kills all of the fish. Poor little porkers. Pluse it taste like shit and theres greasy viens in it. Some coffee shops sneak slices under your pancakes too piss you off and it works. I shouldn't have to inspect my griddle cakes to see if there is a slice of shit infested swine under them.

2) I am ANTI-APPLEBEES. Talk about a bootleg fridays or chilis. 2-fers. Yeah right, try two 8 ounce mugs of dirty tap bud heavy for the price of one 16 ounce bud heavy. Lets see what do they have for apps. Oh lets get the fried conch fritters or the sour cream nachos with chedder cheese. Or the cheesey cheese fat sticks. It sucked so bad I needed a vodka tonic when was forced to go there and they didn't even have vodka. One of the reasons why America is so fat.

3) I am ANTI-HUMMER Trucks. Do you find it necessary to buy a monstrosity of a vehicle so no one can see around your car. You are not cool if you have one, you get ripped off by oil companies on a regular basis. You got marketed hard core. You can pack all of your fat ass kids and there friends in your truck and drive to Applebees.

4) I am ANTI-WENDYS. It used to be good. It blows now. The fries taste like metal and they dip there beef in vats of mayo. Plus there shisty. Tomatos upon request. Weak. I have vomited the last two times I have ate there. The nuggets remind me of the nuggets I used to microwave when frozen food just came out . All spongy and what not. They suck. What do you expect when its 20 cents a nug. They changed there honey mustard recipe, I dont care what anyone says.

5) I am ANTI-LEXUS Christmas ads. "Oh my its a silver lexus with a stupid ass red bow on it in my driveway. I wonder if its for me?" Get a grip lady. No one gets a fuckin lexus for Christmas. By the way its a Toyota with leather and woodgrain.

6) I am ANTI-CHRISTMAS TREES. I have been questioning what possesses people to chop down a tree and then drag it into there house my whole life. So it dries, after that they wrap hot electrical equipment and leave it on all night. Oh yeah there will be a bowl of water at the bottom of the tree to put the fire out. (sarcasm ahoo hooo) What does this have to do with Jesus again? Also the pets will urinate all over your living room.

7) I am ANTI-TONY ROMO aka Tony Homo. I'm sick of seeing this guys stupid mug everyday. Let him win something meaningful before you all start saying he banged Jessica Simpson.

8) I am ANTI-LAW AND ORDER. They should call the TNT channel the Law and Order channel. Its on all fuckin day. All these people do all day is walk around in trenchcoats accusing black people of commiting crimes. They could be in South Beach harrasing everyone one about some stupid old lady in New York and how they arn't wearing a trenchcoat on the beach. That guys bald spot is on a different place on his head every 10 minutes.

9) I am ANTI-MAYO. If you didn't realize Mayonnaise is disgusting. It is nothing but high in fat and sodium mixed with egg product. It has no nutritional value whatsoever. It ruins any sandwhich and steals so many other condiments shine. The smell or sight of it makes me sick to my stomach. Please don't eat it ever. Andy told me a story once about a fat girl who was at a deli and ordered a sandwhich with extra mayo on it. When she sat down to eat it, she was so fat she went back to the counter and asked for even more mayo. She had mayo on her lip as she asked "I take alot of mayo". I'm getting nautious just thinking about it.

10) I am ANTI-SUBWAY. I was in the mall today with Mark and we marveled at the line Subway had. There was plenty of other delicious eatery's for people yet they still wanted to wait for the bread and lettuce sandwhich. Fresh baked? Yeah dough in a microwave with salt on it. MMMMM. Oh sir can I please have double slimey turkey. OK how much. 12.95 great ya fucking asshole. Actually no wait I'll have the italian style BMT with ragu sauce mixed with ketchup. Oh and don't forget the mayo.